"Of all the misconceptions about love, the most powerful and pervasive (普遍深入的)is the belief that falling in love is love or at least one of the nifestations (显现，表示)of love." -- M. SCOTT PECK

People who are rried or in committed relationships are healthier, wealthier, and happier. So why do more than 60 percent of rriages end in divorce? Why has the national divorce rate climbed more than 200 percent in the last thirty years? And why are fewer people getting rried today than ever before?

The answers to these questions are plentiful, but the in reason is . It"s easy to "fall" in love, but very few people know how to stay in love. Even though staying in love is our " artest" choice all the way around! Recent stu s on rriage prove it"s one of the jor ingre nts (成分， 影响)in life-long success for men and women. "It lengthens life, substantially boosts (推进)physical and emotional health, and raises income over that of single or divorced people or those who live together," reported an article in the New York Times. Marriage has also been found to boost happiness, reduce the degree of depression, and provide protection from ually tran itted diseases.

So let"s wake up, ke up, and turn this trend around! One of the most startling (令人吃惊的)pieces of evidence that shows people are not in touch with (了解。。。的情况)what"s really going on in their partnerships is the fact that the jority of people who file (v.提出申请)for divorce say they didn"t think there was a relationship-threatening problem just six months prior to breaking up. Another shocker is that most couples wait six years or more to seek professional help when their relationship is in danger. By the time they do wake up and ell the coffee, it"s often too late.

Truly there is no reason to resign yourself to a bad relationship ? whether you"re dating or rried. Rather than changing partners and ending up this same predicament (困境)again, you can learn to have a fabulous relationship with the partner you already have! I strongly encourage you to ke the relationship you have work, because there is a higher rate of divorce and ery in second rriages.

Getting rid of your partner does not get rid of the problem, because half of the "problem" is yours. You can walk out on your rriage, but you can"t run away from yourself, no tter how hard you try! Rather than blaming each other, couples can learn how to work as a team and coach each other through the troubled times and power struggles. To do this, you must create a "safe" relationship so you can express your needs and fears and effectively resolve anger and conflict. More relationships break up because people don"t know how to validate (验证)each other (that frustration escalates to become anger) than for any other reason. This is truly a shame, because the skills for "fighting fair" are very easy to ster with just a little practice and patience.

One of the biggest causes of unresolved anger between people is a lack of understanding. Men and women have different strengths and weaknesses, different ways of expressing ourselves, and different "childhood wounds" that we"re trying to heal. While it y seem like we"re from different planets we are actually very much alike when it comes to our need and desire for love and inti cy. We only behave differently in our quests for (追求，探索)closeness. Stop doing what you think is "fair" or "right" and start doing what works! It"s not about "working harder" it"s about "working arter".